By Donna Hanks on 3rd July 2018

Do you want to be happy in love?

I believe we all want to love and be loved.

Some people feel they don’t need romantic love, yet when they experience this for the first time they say the feeling is blissful.

I also believe that we need to love and respect ourselves before we can have a healthy love life.

Whether you desire to be single or to be in a loving relationship, we all want to be happy.

Being happy in love will mean something different to all of us. 

Some people love being single and having the freedom to live their life without a romantic partner.

Others are single and dating and looking for their perfect partner.

Some are single and not dating, as they don’t have the confidence or are too heartbroken or scared to meet someone new.

Others are dating someone exclusively and looking for the next step in the relationship.

Some are living together and not married and either happy with this or want to be married.

Others are married and either happy or unhappy in the marriage.

In my experience and coaching others on love and dating, we all want to be loved and respected and we love the feeling of being ‘in love.’

In dating and romance, there is a lot of confusion.  Who approaches first? Who texts first, when do you text back, and what does this text mean?

What if we’ve slept together, and I don’t hear from him/her?

What if we’re in a relationship and it’s not progressing as I want?

Why are none of my relationships working out?

I say bring back old-fashioned dating.  I am old-fashioned in many ways, and I love the man being the man and the woman being the woman.  (Please alter to suit if you are in a same-sex relationship). 

With modern trends, conflicting opinions, and the influence of social media, it creates a lot of confusion.

Let’s stop the confusion and go back to basics.

I like the man to pursue the woman, just like in the old days when the man chose the woman at ‘the dance.’

I like the man to ask the woman out - to give thought to a romantic date, be chivalrous, protective, buy the dinner and drinks, give her his jacket when she’s cold, and listen attentively. 

I don’t see a lot of this happening in modern dating.  Yet many guys and girls tell me they would love to be dating, and going on old-fashioned dates. 

If a woman appears strong and independent, I can assure you she also wants her man to look after her.

That’s not submissive or needy (no thank you) - it’s letting him be the man and wanting to be loved and cared for by him.

I believe there’s ways to act in early dating and when in a committed relationship, to enhance being happy in love.

During the dating stage, you’re discovering if you’re right for each other.  Some people know early on, others may take some more time to know for sure.

Ideally we want a mutually loving, respectful, faithful, honest, close, fulfilling relationship.  I believe we can have all of this, along with sexual chemistry, passion, desire, admiration and open communication.

When dating or in a relationship, tell each other how you feel.  Send a sweet text message, phone when you want to talk, and ask in advance to set up dates.

No one likes a stalker.  If you are pursuing someone and the feeling is not mutual, I suggest you back off.  As the saying goes there are plenty of fish in the sea, and if he/she doesn’t like you, your perfect love is out there.

I’m all about going out and having fun when you’re single, and I also believe that we don’t need to be ‘looking’ or ‘dating’ when we meet our perfect partner.  It is often a random or chance meeting, and I love this as you found each other without any prior set-up or screening.

Now after meeting someone we like, we can Google them after we’ve met them but I still prefer the good old-fashioned way of meeting someone we like, feeling strong feelings and wanting to keep seeing them.

When the feelings are mutual, your beloved will love receiving your thoughtful text message and hearing your voice when you phone.

Of course, if you’re into hook-ups, not interested in a meaningful relationship, and if both parties are willing, honest and faithful, then that’s your choice.

If you do want a fulfilling and lasting relationship with your equal partner, you can decide now to change your ways if what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked for you.

It all starts and ends with you.  You make the decision to change your ways, thoughts and beliefs about love and I trust you will have the love you desire.

If you’d like to be ‘Happy In Love’, please write to me via email about my new Love and Dating course – available by audio program or personal consultation.

For more information, please also listen to the attached audio for an introduction to my style of coaching.

I wish you Happy In Love.